Why? Was I Born Through The Anus? I Asked My Mother.
A Facebook user and a teacher by Profession by name Ishmael Dziwornu discloses this unusually strange and jaw dropping story surrounding his birth that would make you question what you know about human reproduction.
Link to post https://www.facebook.com/ishmael.dziwornu.58
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The title of this story may appear unheard of and something unusual. But I urge you to read on and discover how the interesting times we are living in can help unravel certain secrets you might not be aware of.
When we were little innocent children growing up, we used to assume that babies were given birth to via the anus- the opening through which rectum opens out. As you might probably have learned in your elementary schools, the rectum is the receptacle or small bag which temporarily houses the undigested food called feces and later empties its contents through a sphincter via the anus.
Until I graduated from basic school I had no idea that ‘small humans’ called babies are delivered through a different organ apart from what I knew. Something extraordinary occurred to a neighborhood pregnant mother who could not be rushed to the nearest hospital on time to give birth and had to suffer still birth. As children we were curious to know what the hell was going on as we surrounded the tearing palm frond fence and were peeping through the holes and watching the expectant mother wail on top of her voice as she was being urged and lashed with canes by self trained midwives who were mostly old women to push the baby through. Through where?
The story now begins. My grandmother who has been known to be skillful in delivering babes and was always on hand for such critical life threatening circumstances was absent that day. She travelled to see her husband, an old weakling in another town and spent 9 days. Her absence really caused the life of that young baby as it died still birth due to lack of proper knowledge on the part of those present to timely give the expectant mother a concoction of certain herbs mixed with clay to drink. This they claimed soothed the pain associated with labor and also opened cervical walls to easily slip the baby through the birth canal.
After this and a few sad episodes of losing babies at birth, I approached my mother who also at the time was pregnant. That would be her 11th child which she and my father often argued over to be the last. This was not the first altercation over which pregnancy should be the last, they argued over this even when I, the 7th child was an unborn child. I blamed my mother partly and my father took much of the responsibility for fathering children for whom he had no idea about their future. With 11 children, we could form a football team but could not score a goal because we did not have what it took to be well organized as a family.
Meeting basic necessities of the family became a hustle. Then one day I asked my mother why all my sibbings but me behaved differently? For example, my sibbings were aggressive, more intolerant, competitive and there would not be a day without fights breaking off. Even our last born was a perfect replica of my dad’s personality. Ours was a striking resemblance of the Biblical patriarch Jacob’s family who had 12 sons amongst whom envy and jealousy were their trademark.
My mother’s answer to my question got me perplexed and startled as what she told me sent me back to childhood memories. To my answer, she said she gave birth to me through the anus. What a sharp deviation !
The unexpected reason was that at the time of my nativity she went to the woods to collect some firewood and then her labor abruptly began. While she sat down sprawled and leant against a baobab tree and feeling restless and undergoing that painful ordeal, a voice called her name and it re-echoed through the entire woodlot terrain. She heard the sound of rattling dry leaves as though someone was walking towards her direction. She turned sharply but did not see anything. In her desperation to run but which was impossible, she said two invisible hands grabbed her waist and stripped off the cloth around her waist. The hands felt very cold to the touch and she let out a frightening loud cry which invoked an usually tall image with only its silhouette visible to the eyes on the ground. At this, a voice spoke in a deep commanding tone: “Spread out and let what is in you come out now!”. My mother said as she strained herself, she felt something come out behind her. She reached out with her trembling hand only to notice a baby’s head with no hairs on it. With further urgings to strain and pull out what was coming out of her, she gradually delivered a baby through her anus unassisted. It has no single strand of hair on its head at birth. It was ‘tarzo’ !
As is always with every new born, so it was with this one too. Crying and throwing its limbs around. My mother said that immediately the baby was about to come out fully and start crying, the eerie noice of birds and wild animals along with the invisible ‘midwife’s frightening tone suddenly disappeared and all that replaced with peace and nerve calming tranquility.
My mother ended the story that she remained in the wild for 48 hours longer because she lost the path leading home. When she arrived home finally with me in her arms very healthy and strong, the accompanying joy and celebrations that followed were indescribable. This happened 25 years ago yet she had never disclosed in full details how the things really unfolded in the woods that day. Not even to my father, her husband. Not even grandma, nor grandpa. I now see why I’m different and exceptional. Because I was given birth to, not through the usual ‘front door’, but through the septic ‘back door.’ Haha!
You would have been asking yourself how this is even possible. Well, you are not alone. We are in shock too.